I thought very carefully about my first blog...

I thought very carefully about what I wanted to write about in my first blog here. Being a hockey fan in England is challenging to say the least and any chance I get to sound off about the sport I usually take it (much to the bewilderment of anyone at the receiving end). Anyways, I thought I would keep it casual and expand on my short period as a Lightning fan when I first discovered hockey and my subsequent divorce with all things Bolt!I’m quite aware that what I have to say will likely upset some Bolts fans, and I apologise unreservedly for that in advance. But here goes…I was a huge Bolts fan up until the end of 2007. I thought they were awesome despite being at the depths of the NHL…they were the team and I was damned if a few bad years were going to put me off. I am no fair-weather fan!

But something changed and I think what I am going to let you read will be pretty self-explanatory. I was pretty angry at the time, a bottle the worse and I wrote it in the middle of the night.

So here goes…this is what I planned on putting on a previous blog:Working in education gives me an awful lot of free time over the summer...and a lot of time to think about hockey. My main thoughts at the moment revolve around the spectacle that is Tampa Bay. Ever since I heard the words, "shockingly aggressive" from Mr Oren-'leader in chief'-Koules I quaked in my boots. I am sure I am not alone when I said..."boy am I worried" along with endless renditions of "this is going to go one of two ways!"
So based on the recent antics and tactics of the OK clan, let us have a look at:
'The Millionaire's Guide to...How to Destroy a Hockey Franchise (a 10 step program)'
-Prologue by Brian Lawton-

1. *Back the Underdog*
This is a given...all beginners should know this secret. You take the team that finished dead last in the previous season, then surely you are assured that you will get no worse. As the team progressively descends to an all time stinkin' low, you use the line, "But we haven't gone down the table."

2. *Take Your Lead From Mark Cuban*
Get in there with the fans...hell get down on the bench with the team and mix it up a little. Always scream at the refs and make sure to have those skates to hand in case you need to 'take care of business' on the ice.

3. *Replace An Appalling Coach With An Even More Appalling One*
Advert reads:
Coach wanted for Failing Team-No recent experience necessary (although ESPN experience desirable)-Mullet hall of famers only!-Movie industry/Acting experience desirable-Bonuses: Sun, Sea, Sand and Stanley

4. *#1 Draft Picks*
-You're lumbered with a #1 pick, oh what to do..."pick the top prospect" they whisper, we'll look stupid if we trade. If you are unfortunate enough to be in this position, feed him up, send him to Bear Mountain and he'll be prime meat for trade soon enough! This is always a good way to get some ever important forwards.

5. *Frat Boys!!!!*
-Let's Paaaarrrrtttyyyy!! That's right get them jeans on and act like you're 'down with the kids'. Most importantly sign a bad boy to your team, explain it's to help protect the naive little draft boy…sure to be a dirty rotten influence. Good times! Roll out that keg!

6. *"You're Goin' Down For Life"*
-Lock in your best and 'face of the franchise' player into a career long deal at whatever cost. Take them to lunch, flatter them, flirt a little even...just get that signature. And...whatever you do, swallow that key to the shackles!#

7. *Buy One Get One Free*
-Always remember that if you trade it's quantity not quality you're looking for. Repeat the following mantra to yourself every morning in the mirror..."Feaster had the right idea...he was a genius!"

8. *Team Jolly, Anyone?
-Ship front office off to somewhere flashy! Indulge, eat, drink...that's what it's all about isn't it? Oh...and if there's time for some hockey then so be it!

9. *Go Fishing*
-Pull on your waders, grab your net, sail off to Pittsburgh and take a share of the wealth.Scream, "Order to go: 1 bag of veterans, a couple more forwards and chuck that one in for the journey!"

10. *Horror Films Rule*
-And finally, if all this goes tits up, make a movie.'Hockey Massacre Down South'...."I can see it now boys...blood, gore and Bettman...what d'ya think?" Ignore the call from the office junior, "Er, didn't we already do that one????"

So there you go, and as I read it back I kind of wonder why I spent so much time writing all this drivel when I could have spent it much more important matters. I think the top and bottom of it is that I have come to realise that I must have real passion for this sport, something I have never had for any other. I had the fire in my belly and I wanted everyone to know.
So, where are we now, well I’m not the kind of person who can support more than one team…and also not the type of person who can stand back and watch a franchise being systematically slaughtered. So I took my principles, packed my bags, and went running!
Where did I run to…why Pittsburgh of course!!!